Navigating Child Custody And Visitation During The Holidays

By Renee Dehn, Family Law Attorney

The holiday season brings joy, tradition, and family gatherings across Wisconsin. But for separated or divorced parents, November marks the beginning of one of the most stressful times of the year. Questions about holiday schedules, travel plans, school breaks, and family expectations can create tension even in otherwise cooperative co-parenting relationships. When emotions rise and schedules become complicated, misunderstandings can quickly lead to disputes.

Understanding how Wisconsin custody and placement laws work, how to prepare for holiday planning, and how to resolve disagreements early can help both parents navigate the season smoothly. Most importantly, clear communication and advance planning help children feel secure and enjoy the holidays without being caught between competing expectations.

Understanding Wisconsin Placement Schedules During The Holidays

Most Wisconsin final placement orders include specific provisions for major holidays. These schedules typically override regular weekly placement during designated dates. Common arrangements include alternating holidays each year, splitting holiday days, or assigning certain holidays to one parent consistently.

Courts in Wisconsin focus on creating arrangements that prioritize the best interests of the child. For the holidays, this usually means promoting stability, maintaining family traditions when possible, and ensuring children spend meaningful time with each parent. Even if your parenting plan was created years ago, these terms remain binding unless formally modified by the court.

Parents should review their current placement orders well before Thanksgiving. Knowing your court-approved schedule helps prevent last-minute disagreements and supports smoother decision making for the entire season.

Planning Ahead For Holiday Travel And Events

Many parents travel during November and December. Grandparents, extended family, and holiday celebrations often mean driving longer distances or even traveling out of state. Wisconsin custody orders can require parents to provide notice before traveling with the child out-of-state, including sharing dates, destinations, and contact information.

Failing to notify the other parent or violating travel restrictions can lead to legal issues. Even when the other parent agrees informally, keep written records of communication about travel. Text messages, emails, or shared calendars help prevent misunderstandings and provide documentation if disputes arise later.

If you anticipate needing schedule adjustments, start the conversation early. Courts generally expect parents to work together on reasonable modifications. Rushed requests may lead to frustration and conflict, especially during the busiest time of the year.

Handling Conflicts And Schedule Disagreements

Even the most cooperative parents sometimes struggle during the holidays. Conflicts may arise over timing, travel, family gatherings, or disagreements about how to interpret the placement order. Because November and December are peak months for disputes, acting quickly matters.

Steps that can help reduce conflict include:

• Reviewing the placement order together in advance
• Offering reasonable compromises when schedules conflict
• Communicating through written channels when tensions are high
• Using a parenting communication app to track messages and schedules

If disputes escalate, a family law attorney can clarify your rights and responsibilities under the existing order. In some cases, a court modification may be necessary. However, waiting until the week of a holiday to seek legal help greatly reduces the likelihood of securing any short-notice changes.

Supporting Children During The Holiday Season

Children often feel pulled between parents during this time of year. They may worry about hurting one parent’s feelings or missing traditions they enjoyed before the separation. Parents can ease this stress by keeping the focus on the child’s experience rather than personal conflicts.

Steps that help children feel supported include:

• Explaining the holiday plan in advance
• Allowing children to participate in traditions with both families
• Avoiding negative comments about the other parent
• Supporting the child’s excitement about celebrations in both homes

Creating consistency also matters. Even with varying schedules, maintaining bedtimes, routines, and expectations helps children feel grounded throughout the season.

When A Court Modification Might Be Necessary

Some situations often require formal changes to the custody or placement order. Examples include:

• A move or significant change in distance between parents
• New work schedules that interfere with holiday placement
• Concerns about safety or well-being during placement
• Repeated violations of the existing order

If a modification becomes necessary, consult an attorney well ahead of the holidays. The earlier you act, the more likely the court will have time to review the request.

Following Court Orders And Avoiding Common Mistakes

Courts expect both parents to follow placement orders during the holidays. Refusing to follow the schedule or withholding the child can result in legal consequences, including enforcement actions, makeup time, or even sanctions.

Common mistakes to avoid include:

• Ignoring specific holiday dates and times in the court order
• Making unilateral changes to travel or schedules
• Demanding last-minute adjustments
• Denying placement because of personal disagreements

If safety concerns ever arise, consult an attorney immediately to understand your legal options. However, disagreements unrelated to safety should not lead to withheld placement, as this can harm both the child and your legal position.

When To Contact A Family Law Attorney

You may benefit from legal guidance if:

• You and the other parent cannot agree on interpreting the holiday schedule
• One parent repeatedly violates the placement order
• You have questions about travel restrictions or out-of-state trips
• A substantial change in circumstances makes your current schedule unworkable
• You want to update your holiday plan to better match your child’s needs

A family law attorney can help you understand your rights, avoid unnecessary conflict, and protect your position before issues escalate.

Making This Holiday Season Smoother For Your Family

Planning ahead, communicating early, and following the court order are the most effective ways to prevent stress during the holidays. While November introduces unique challenges for separated or divorced parents, it also offers an opportunity to create new traditions, support your children’s emotional well-being, and strengthen cooperative parenting practices.

If holiday custody issues become overwhelming, the family law attorneys at Bosshard Parke in La Crosse and Sparta are here to help you navigate scheduling questions, interpret your placement order, or pursue a modification if necessary.

Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For personalized guidance, please consult an attorney at Bosshard Parke.